Friday, October 31, 2008

happy haloween

Happy Halloween everyone!
This holiday is a favorite round these parts, we always do Halloween at Suanne's house, so Jasper and I will be heading out there.
Jasper this year decided on an Optimus prime costume and I will be a a Luchador (mexican wrestler), should be fun.

(Jasper at an early Halloween party)

Everything has seemed to be a challenge lately, even food shopping, so I hope tonight goes well.
We both have had a hard time in all this, so distractions are nice.
Distractions are so nice we got a bunch of new video games, I'm getting back into fire juggling, anything to keep me and Jasper busy.
I actually ordered fire devil sticks and got fire poi on accident, so another week until my sticks get here. I managed to work a deal for the poi, since they are here now, so I got them cheap.
I'm gonna try to brush up on my poi skills, I see bruising in my future.
I think doing the fire juggling will be good, you tend to hit a kind of zen spot when you have fire flying around your head.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Thank you

Thank you to you all for your kind words stories and help. The wake I believe was exactly want she would have wanted. If you weren't able to make it that's ok, life has a funny way of diverting things. Just take a moment to raise a glass to her.
I've been asked a few times if this blog will continue, it will, because life persists.
This is a quote I found on

"I can never lose one
whom I have loved unto the end;
one to whom my soul cleaves so firmly
that it can never be separated
does not go away
but only goes before."

St. Bernard of Clairvaux

Such true words, I miss her more than words can do justice, and when I am ready I will write about her, our times together and the future Jasper and I face together.
For now I am focusing on healing, myself and Jasper, we both have a tough road ahead adjusting to a life without Elise, she was the heart of our family.
But we have amazing support, which makes things easier, so we will be ok, in time.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Gathering to Celebrate Elise's Life

When I spoke to Elise and asked what she wanted for her services she said, "I want people to drink and celebrate my life, not focus on my death.". Elise was always the type to see the good no matter what. So to honor her attitude on life and to honor her wishes, that's what we are going to do.
Place: Sole Repair, 1001 E. Pike, Seattle, WA 98122:
Time: Monday, October 13th, 6:00 PM
Attire: Casual
Cameron will be sharing a slide show of pictures of Elise and pictures she took ... and some of her favorite music. Suanne will bring pictures from her childhood. You are encouraged to bring your own memories and stories of Elise to share with everyone.

A post about Elise from the blog of a dear friend...

The morning sun passes by as I sit in an Internet Cafe in the Okanogan. A light behing the clouds leaves me with lingering thoughts of a friend who has passed away this weekend. Reading now two days since, my heart can only go out to her Husband, Son and Mother who have been by her side this long six months since she first went to the Hospital. But strangly I feel serene knowing that Elise's spirit is following it's next journey, and her body now rest from the pains it has gone through this summer.

Elise was a special soul, one that you only meet once or twice in a lifetime. Her smile seemed always to be fresh and warm, and like the Aries she was, youth seems to surround her like an aura, even in the hardest of times. She loved life at it's core, and seemed to be on a mission to help other people feel the same way. Even on a hike we took last year in the Snoqualmie Rainforest, following her 3 year old son, that had already found her love of nature with his excitement over pointing out the different types of ferns, and flowers. Her Husband is a man that shared her strenght in his love for her and her child. Watching them together at their wedding, the birth of Jasper and day to day life. His strenght over the last few months has been and inspiring display of true love. And even in her illness, her choice to travel out to the National Parks so as to spend the last time with her family with good memories is something that brings a smile to my heart.

I remember siting with Elise and talking about life and death along time ago. As I watch the first light on the Mountain side, I remember that she felt like a young soul, that had many more lives yet to live and to touch others. I can feel now, that her spirit is passing between worlds, and will come again. For such a strong spirit cannot be left to linger to long away, it has to much love to share. Her greatest memorial is left in the memories and thoughts that she left all of us with. For those who were blessed to meet her, she will always remain. Such a passing can only leave one with thoughts of thier own life, and a lesson to be learned. A calm realization that there is only the day that we live, the joy that we find in the world we pass through and the company we keep, and the promise to appricate each day before us, as we have those that pass...

Goodbye my friend,
I will miss you...


Tuesday, October 07, 2008

A word from Suanne

It's been pretty surreal, these past few days. I keep busy attending the details of all of the arrangements that must be made. It's a comfort to be with both Cameron and Jasper, sharing our good memories and grief. Hubby John is available whenever needed, even through his own grief. Carma has been a comforting presence at the apartment for the last two days with her kindnesses and helpfulness. Jasper is dealing with it all as a 5-year-old ... he makes us all keep smiling through it all.
If you would like to do something remember Elise or her family during this time, here are some ideas:
*Post a comment on this blog with your memories of Elise.
*Send a card to Elise's family/caretakers:
-Cameron & Jasper Kinnamon: 805 112th St. SE #J103, Everett, WA 98208
-Suanne & John Carlson: 4329 334th Pl SE, POB 1300, Fall City, WA 98024
*Donate to Jasper's college fund: Follow this link
*Make a donation to Cameron & Jasper: Use PayPal button at the top right of this page.
*Make a donation in Elise's memory for brain tumor research: Follow this link
*Attend a gathering held in Elise's memory, a social time for friends and family, to remembering Elise over some drinks: Details to follow.

Sunday, October 05, 2008

Elise passed away last night

She has passed on, and is finally at peace.

Saturday, October 04, 2008


Just to let everyone know, for the most part Elise is sleeping peacefully and we have a good supply of pain meds to keep her comfortable thanks to hospice.
Jasper seems to be doing well with everything. We had some serious talks about whats going on and he responded well.

Friday, October 03, 2008


There is a lot of signs pointing to this being the last days Elise is with us. I hate admitting it, but that seems to be true. I can't live day to day in a comfortable denial anymore.
Today marks six months since Elise's release from the hospital. It has been a crazy six months, but in that time Elise, Jasper, and I have done a lot together and have really enjoyed being together.
I'm thankful for that time we had together.

trying to stay positive

I've suspected but didn't want to admit to myself that the situation is worse that it seems.
Elise has been manifesting physically signs that her tumor has grown again spreading further into the right side of her brain. Her symptoms, until recently, have manifested in the right side of her body, due to the tumor being more on the left side of her brain. Now we are seeing symptoms on her left side we never saw there before. I'm scared to say that the situation looks bad, although I hold onto hoping it's just the flu, the reality of the situation is making that not seem likely. Elise has missed her chemo due to all this as well, which I don't believe was working as well as we all thought it was.

On this blog I really try to stay optimistic, so this has been a hard post to write.

Suanne is still coming daily to take care of us all, and is staying on top of the meds situation as well as trying to coordinate Hospice getting involved so Elise can stay home where she wants to be.
Also, check out the comments, Suanne has been doing updates in the comment area.


Thursday, October 02, 2008

suanne update

Cameron, Jasper and Elise are all starting to get over the flu. Jasper's doing one of the more active Wii games and hasn't coughed hardly at all ... what an improvement. Cameron is feeling well enough to go out and do some grocery shopping. And Elise's breathing is much less labored, she's talking a little bit, and coughing less since I've got to their place this morning. I'm the only one that isn't getting better yet ... but, I'm a few days behind them. I'm still waiting to hear from home health care and hospice ... hopefully I'll hear something today. Suanne (Elise's Mom)